great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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