Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize