problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
