I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
