He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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