My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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