so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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