he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize