he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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