Screwed.edu
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
