You just made me feel so damn special
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
