there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
