love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
