You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
