I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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