I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
