im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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