I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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