Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
