His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
