I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dignity is for republicans.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
