Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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