I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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