Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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