I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I skipped work to stalk him.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
