if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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