Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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