New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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