my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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