Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
