I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
