Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
