I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize