in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Randomize
