Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
