Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
