I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
