The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
