I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
why is half of my head shaved?
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