Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
