if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
