By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
