your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
