What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
