I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I didn't notice because vodka
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
