Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
