Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
