$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
