Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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