If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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