I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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