And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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