You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
