omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
