You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
