It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
