she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize