Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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