that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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