he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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