how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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