Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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