is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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