Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
