There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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