I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
