Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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