god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
