Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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